What I Learned This Semester/Winter Break

     The fall semester of 2011 was one that I will always look back on and consider it one of the greatest achievements of my academic career. Many people don't know that this semester I was fighting for my right to stay at my school, and was required to get a 3.0 in order to stay. Many people would argue that a 3.0 is nothing to drastic to be asked for from a student at a university like the one I go to. However for myself, it was a tall order, and one that I had no certainty of being able to accomplish. Throughout August up until early December, I put work and school in front of social life and partying. Instead of spending my Friday and Saturday nights getting piss drunk or doing whatever was available for me to partake in, I chose to pass, in order to be at 100% for when I needed to do homework, write an essay, or study for a test. I missed plenty of parties, passed on many beers/shots and declined many invitations for other social gatherings, all for the sole purpose of accomplishing my goal. In the end, I was successful with my goal, earning a 3.0, and earning the right to stay at my school.

     With this I thought that all of my stress had ended and that I would be able to roll into my winter break and be able to party every night and enjoy my time at home with my friends and family. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast these last 3 weeks of being able to cut loose and really just enjoy my free time. I made up for the time I missed out on this semester by laughing and smiling as much as possible this break. I spent countless hours with my friends doing anything and everything, while also spending an immense amount of time with my family and enjoying their company as much as I could possibly stand. Holidays were a joy. Hannukah, Christmas, and New Years were all ones that I will remember for a long time, for both positive and negative reasons.

     One thing that really was something that came to my attention was the fact that a lot of the people I know were all beginning to start their paths on where they were going to take their lives. Whether it was making a home for themselves at their respective schools or with their teams. People were really starting to separate themselves from the pack of the many people I consider to be my friends/acquaintances. This is something that is a bit of a landmark in a persons life. It's a moment when a person has to start to think about what they want to do with their lives. Do they want to stay in their comfort zone and stay with the people that they have known for so long and have grown such a great bond with, or do they want to begin to broaden their horizons and start on a new, different path in this part of their life? I have come to realize that I am at that point in my life and that I have to decide soon what path I want to take. It's one of the hardest decisions a person has to make. Frankly, I have no idea what I want to do. Even if I did, I don't know the first thing I would do in order to go in the direction that I chose. There are so many reasons to go either way. On one side you have a sense of great comfort and a feeling that nothing needs to be changed and that you can settle on this side for life. But on the other side you have a sense of growing up and becoming someone that you have never thought you could become. Move on and grow or stay comfortable and go with a sure thing? This is one of life's questions that many people struggle with and never really figure out the answer to until they reach the point where they are forced into making a decision. It is one that I really have to think about and figure out what is best for me.

     On another note, I did a lot of other thinking and observing during my time home over this break. Really trying to figure out stuff in my life and thinking about the people I have in my life and how they effect me. I realized that while I am trying to figure out what path I want to take with my life, I am still trying to figure out what kind of person I am. Do I want to try and stay a teenage hooligan who tries to have as much fun as possible every night of the week as possible, or do I want to grow up and begin to be the mature man that my parents see in me and that frankly, I see in me. I observed the people I ran into over break, talked to via text, Facebook or twitter, and really tried to see what others had decided to do. I saw that it was pretty even between people who had taken that step towards maturity and adulthood, and those who are still trying to hold on to every last bit of childhood/teenagehood that they can before having to commit to taking that step to adulthood. It's another one of those things that I have to figure out in my life and am hoping to figure out sooner than later.